Michael Rossato-Bennett lives in NYC. He is a householder with a wife, two beautiful children and two dogs. He has accepted the challenge to become Enlightened in one year. Will he succeed?

A conversation: Is Hari a good Teacher? from Michael Rossato-Bennett on Vimeo.

4

13 Days to go!

Strange as it may sound, I feel I am becoming enlightened,

not in the way I thought when I started this journey-

You seldom find what you are looking for, but what you find is better.

But it is working. One of my questions when I started this journey was this- ‘Could I change my deep self in one year, my conciousness, my mind?’

My report is this- Yes. It can be done. I have done it.

Is this a great accomplishment? Who knows, but for me it certainly is. I am now there in moments, that place I wanted to be. I have learned a way to feel all those things I have yearned for all my life, and to let go of the things I refused to let go of.  I have learned to feel held in the mother’s arms I never had, to feel part of the groups I never could be in, to feel myself learn courage from the teachers I could never find.

I have done what I could not do for all these years, (I am amazed at how stubborn I have been, at how strong my hold has been on my life-raft mind!) Now, I am beginning to experiencing life without the filter of my mind. (Let’s not split hairs here- how about if I just say, ‘I am experiencing life without my mind screaming in from of my face!’) I am sure 99% of the world figures this out at 20 years old, but it has taken me till now and that is the way it happened, so don’t laugh at me!

I asked my friends today, this- Why is it that to be happy, to know the infinite, to know yourself, you have to be out of your mind?

Let me tell you about last night! In order to be with my teacher more I am auditing her teacher training course. It is great, to pratice for many hours a day, I mean, all this practice is certainly befitting someone who has made a big deal out of attempting to change his consciousness in 1 year, right?!  I am really enjoying it, it is so amazing to meditate with others.

This is what it feels like for me to meditate with others. I feel like I am with friends!

For the first time in a long while I feel like I am in a spiritual community and I am part of it. It is like family, it is so nice to be able to move with trust! To move with others in the same direction with an infinite goal- it is really cool. Anyway, last night I came home, my body feeling it’s age for the first time, but with the mind of my heart very strong. When I got home my wife I found was depressed, as she sometimes gets, but this time it was different. I reacted differently than I ever had before, it did not hook into me. I did not feel responsible, or diminished in anyway. I just wanted to make the world safe for her, so she could unwind and be happy. And I had within me the strength to do this- I am feeling the freedom of not living relative to another person. this is the freedom that comes when you draw your identity from an experience with the infinite instead of from a house of cards within your own mind. Marriage is such a great learning tool!

For the first time my daily practice is not a chore.  I finally get that it is the work of the internal artist, that we all are.  We get to wake up and sculpt the way energy flows through us, instead of flopping around like fish out of water.  Now I approach my morning practice like a secret lover.  How wonderful that I have know pain and loneliness, without it this tryst would have no weight!

So, what I feel right now is everything I’ve been searching for- will it last?

Ha!  That is a TRICK question!  You are trying to catch me aren’t you?  Actually, I’m too smart to ask athat question anymore!

Do you know what fascia is?  When a hod carrier carries bricks up ladders for 20 years on his shoulder, after a few years he develops a hump.  The hump makes carrying his load easier.  But what is the hump?  It turns out that in the blood are little strings called fascia, that lay themselves on stress points, and eventually they bond and become strong as bone.  This is what happened to me.  I laid bricks of fascia on my ribs, and on the stress-point of my heart-  it has taken this year of movement to shake them lose.  I sense that it will take longer to fully clear them away, (maybe they will always be there!?)  Anyway, this is why it takes work.  You have been laying chains around your soul for decades, do you think you can break them with just a thought?  Perhaps, but as I always say to my son, ‘The trash must be taken out!  Do your chores! If you only want to be distracted by video games, if you only want the virtual world, you will never know the sweet knowledge of the whisper of your deep self!

All who reach for the infinite horizon are brothers and sisters. But just so you don’t get dragged into foolishness, remember, they are trustworthy only in the moments of their reaching!

Talk with you soon-

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One Response to “13 Days to go!”

  1. Itay Arad says:

    I am a fan, TheMichaelMan. I am so glad to have known you from the bottom of your lowest temptations and self piity to to the top of your holiness. Keep on enlightening us all. Itay

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