Michael Rossato-Bennett lives in NYC. He is a householder with a wife, two beautiful children and two dogs. He has accepted the challenge to become Enlightened in one year. Will he succeed?

A conversation: Is Hari a good Teacher? from Michael Rossato-Bennett on Vimeo.

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Teacher Training

Yoga classes…

When I was 20 years old I was in college and I was confused and in pain.

Today, when I look out at all the beautiful 20 year olds I just shake my head.  I shake my head at the foolishness of me.  If only I could have been so free.

Every morning, when I sit down and do my practice, I am untangling myself.  When I am meditating I am looking in through the tangles and melting them by Being.  I get that, but at 20 I was so tangled up inside.  I had so much pain and I could not let it go.  I wonder if meditation would have helped?  Perhaps I had to have my children and my wife before I could be helped by Kundalini Yoga…

Myself at 20-

Poor child.

I wish I could go back and whisper into your ear, dance, play, enjoy the luschious Mango that is your soul… I wish I could go back, I could have saved him so much pain with what I know now…

Anyway, back to Yoga classes.  Hari says most yoga classes are not very spiritual.  This surprises me I felt like we were witnessing a revolution, the Yogaing of America!  I always go to class trying to unlock my own imprisonment.  She says most Yoga classes are more like the Jane Fonda Aerobics of our day and whats more most people are addicted to them.  I guess I see what she is saying, It is a bit depressing…

See, when I was 20, when normal men are blossoming and heading out into the world, leaving home, I did the opposite.  I went back to find my mother.  When did she leave us?  I mean I never saw her after I was 6 or 7 but when did she actually leave?  Was I one? two?  What was the feeling in me that would not let me go?  What was it that I felt I had to get?  What was my quest?  Why did I feel compelled to heal, to receive a love I had never felt?  I know that I sealed up my heart from hurt and love as well very young.  I think I was going back to the moment my heart closed, that I was looking for a worthy touch to let it open again.

So, I moved to my mother’s city at 20.  Instead of going out into the world, I went back into the cauldron of my destruction.  I went back to get to know, to forgive?  to love?  to receive something from the woman who started it all..

I went back and took classes from my mother instead of having a childhood...

How I wish I could have just moved on, entered the world and tasted all of it’s lovely fruit.  But I could not.  I had to go backwards.  AHHHHHHH!!!!!

So, she was a dancer- and she gave these strange classes, these guided meditation, dance classes.  And I took them.  This was how I got to know her…

It was so strange.  Who was she?  It was comic, if you could only have been a fly on the wall you would have laughed! I could not call her Mother, because she was not my mother.  Call her Mother?  I had too much anger deep in me toward her to call her that!  But, I had come to see her, and she wanted to heal us very badly, so I could not call her Fanchon because that seemed insulting, like I was rejecting the fact that she actually was my mother…  So, for one year I never addressed her directly… Try it sometime, try talking to someone for a year without ever saying their name!  It was very strange… Can you imagine never saying someone’s name, when they are the person you have come across a lifetime to be with!!?

So, it is a bit strange from my perspective, seeing  everyone in the world going to Yoga classes.  Why?  Well, to me a Yoga class is a movement class with guided meditation, and that is really close to what my mother was doing all those years ago!  Now, all these young people are doing almost exactly what I did!!  It is so strange to me…

Which brings me to my decision.  Do I do Teacher Training? I want to do Teacher Training with Hari to spend time with her.

Do I do Teacher Training?

(Actually I don’t want to,  I would rather just be a student in the old way, spend the time with the teacher, get healed by the teachers aura.  But there is no time for that in today’s world.)  The only way I will get to spend more time is to do Teacher Training with her.  But I also feel a bit strange.  I do not want to become a spreader of the way of Yogi Bajan!  I came to study with Hari, and now I am going to be trained to be a teacher of the way of Yogi Bajan?  It seems convoluted.  I am not sure what I am going to do…

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