Michael Rossato-Bennett lives in NYC. He is a householder with a wife, two beautiful children and two dogs. He has accepted the challenge to become Enlightened in one year. Will he succeed?

A conversation: Is Hari a good Teacher? from Michael Rossato-Bennett on Vimeo.

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DAY 43 – The Flashlight in the dark

Day 43

Teacher,

This practice is taking root.

I went to sleep and I awoke trying to breathe into the places in my body where my energy is stuck. For me it is a couple places in my spine. I can feel them, they feel like those carbunkle things that grow on trees sometimes, all hairy…When I try to get air and energy to flow freely there, I can feel the block! I can feel what the meditation is asking of me. It is asking me to flood the darkness I am so attached to inside the carbunkles with the light. It is all about awareness vs. attachment. I am having a conversation with myself- it goes something like this,
‘Let go!’ says the agent of the infinite, and my body responds,
‘No!’
‘OK,’ I say, ‘can you just surround, infuse that place of pain with awareness? Can you let the light of day into it? Can you stop pounding it down, impacting the earth around it, again and again?’

Shine a light on me, Baby!

This Yoga is for me a function- it lets light and space into dark places, it takes my take no prisoners method of protecting my self, by armoring and isolating, and says to it-
‘Life is not one thing, one thing is an illusion, any time you try to make life one thing you are being neurotic, Mike!
In the spaces where you are trying to make it one thing, allow a breath of the infinite to infiltrate, let it be one thing…and a little infinite too…’

This Yoga is about shaking the places that I dont want to move.
STOP TRYING TO HOLD THAT FRUIT UP IN THE AIR FOREVER, IT HAS TO FALL!’

That is why movement, works, laughter works, orgasm and tears work-
Yoga is opening to the infinite and it is the most interesting in the areas of my self that i have closed off.

This is what I want our process to do- to show how we close- to explain and even stop the movie if we have to Рto make the act of watching it into a process, where we can help people flood their dark places with the infinite, to allow the habit of awareness to take root inside their, my, habits of turtle hiding.

I am glad I saw Enlighten UP! and I am glad it was so good. Seeing it I can no longer do the simple choice of following and documenting my progress, this has been done, and done well. Instead I have to do what only I can do…

Strangely, I am more interested in being the Yogi than the film-maker. I do not care about film-making as much anymore, what I care about is giving a gift. It would probably be easier to become a teacher and teach classes… But my nature is big thinking, that is what I like about this project, and making a movie- I get to investigate, create, a big think…

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